New Mom Bloopers – Homepage

As a first-time mom, I realize how graceless I am in moving through the world with an infant. I used to be so fluid and cool, running errands whenever I felt like it, meandering the aisles of the grocery story as if time did not exist. Now, I am lucky if I get a shower, brush my hair, and/or brush my teeth before heading out the door with this little 12 pound 26 pound sweetheart.

Photo of our feet

My pedicure is several months old, and my eyebrows–they really need some serious attention.

Joey's First Birthday I’ve learned that babies literally make you lose your mind, sending you into a spiral of constant distraction. I can forget what I did five seconds ago. (Did I wash my face yet?, I often wonder as I’m standing in the shower.) My grocery shopping trips with the baby resemble that classic TV gameshow, Supermarket Sweep. How quickly can I make it from end to end of the store and get everything on the list? The goal is always to finish before the baby begins to cry because once he starts, it is hard to calm him down without pulling out the good ‘ol boob.

I’ve also learned that I automatically assume that every other mom has everything more “together” than I do, as if I’m the only one who feels like a disorganized, anxious mess a lot of the time. Even when people try to sympathize and tell me they are not, in fact, totally zen at motherhood, I imagine they are just trying to make me feel better. I use the fact that some of them are wearing makeup as evidence.

This blog will chronicle those moments where I must laugh at myself and help those other ham-handed moms realize they are not alone in this wild world of new momhood.

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